How to Get Over Your First Love

How to Get Over Your First Love
man and woman holding hands standing against brown wooden wall

Your first love teaches you what it's like to be in a romantic relationship.  Experiencing anything for the first time sets the tone for how you will engage in such experiences in the future.

 If you're struggling to get over your first love, this is perfectly normal. This is something most people struggle with, but there are things you can do to help yourself move on. First, limit thoughts of your ex. 

Try to focus on the present and not dwell on the past. Try to adopt a healthier perspective about the relationship. While it ended, you learned a lot about yourself by being in love.

Hey Limit time spent thinking of your ex.
You may think that you should eliminate your ex from your thoughts altogether. However, this strategy can very easily backfire. If you try to force yourself not to think about something, you'll only think about it more. Instead of trying not to think about your ex altogether, limit the time you spend thinking of them. 

Watch for unrealistic thought patterns. 
If you're reeling from the loss of a first love, you may be prone to catastrophic thinking. For example, you may think things like, "I'll never love anyone again" or "I'll never be happy again." When you catch yourself engaging in such thoughts, stop and challenge them.

Be realistic.
Most people do not end up with their first love. Think about your parents, friends, or other family members. They probably all experienced the loss of a first love, but ended up in healthy relationships later on.

Practice self-care. 
It's very difficult to think positive when you're not caring for yourself. You may find it hard to sleep, exercise, or eat right after heartbreak. However, you need to keep up with basic self-care. This will allow you to stay strong and avoid negative thinking.

Talking to someone objective can help you recognize these patterns and find closure. Speak to a friend whose judgment you trust, or consider seeing a counselor who can help you assess the relationship in a balanced and objective way.

Allow yourself to enjoy past memories. You don't have to shut out all thoughts of your ex. With time, you may be able to smile on some of what has occurred. Love can trigger wonderful, happy emotions, and your first love will always be special.

Tell yourself things like, “I’m going to use what I learned from this relationship to build even better relationships in the future. The best is yet to come!”

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